function questionOne (form){
 
  if (form.q1[0].checked)
  { alert ("Ah! An involuntary outcry of anger, perhaps? You must learn to control this anger, until it is involuntary to REFRAIN from such verbal attacks."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q1[1].checked)
  { alert ("By reverting to physical pain, you only compound the mental anguish they must already feel for spilling on you. Disappointing, young desciple."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q1[2].checked)
  { alert ("Humour is the language of the soul. Your soul is a relaxed one, I see. Well done."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q1[3].checked)
  { alert ("Excellent, young disciple. You are on your way to inner peace. Whoops! Sorry about that - I have slippery fingers. Get me a Guinness on your way to clean that up."); 
    return; }
 
}

function questionTwo (form){
 
  if (form.q2[0].checked)
  { alert ("Will this somehow enable the car to move? Unless it is a magic horn, I don't think so. I've also read somewhere that honking your horn is a sign of sexual frustration. Either way - not very relaxed."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q2[1].checked)
  { alert ("Patience is an important virtue of the Relaxism teachings. A second to learn, and a lifetime to master. Be patient - you are on the right path to relaxation."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q2[2].checked)
  { alert ("A call to action, you cry! You're unselfishness in this regard is commendable. However, could a very small part of your decision be based on impatience? A fair and honest answer nonetheless. Your training is progressing nicely."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q2[3].checked)
  { alert ("What war is worth fighting for? Not this war, I do say. Perhaps the war within yourself, however, is reason enough for a call to arms. I pity the misfortunate soul who crosses paths with you that day."); 
    return; }
 
}

function questionThree (form){
 
  if (form.q3[0].checked)
  { alert ("On a seemingly unrelated note, the tourism industry sees a sharp decline in repeat vacationers this year, leading to a small recession in your local economy."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q3[1].checked)
  { alert ("Humility is another of the Relaxism virtues to be learned. You tried your best to help in the situation. Your best wasn't good enough in this instance - but at least you tried. Quite a relaxed attitude."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q3[2].checked)
  { alert ("Unfortunately, the troubled traveler ended up wandering for days in search of the corner of 'Nowhere Blvd' and 'I don't have the foggiest idea Street'. Years later, anthropologists discovered the fossilized remains of the person outside the local GAP outlet store. All that was left was a skeleton sporting a rather baggy pair of khakis and an empty wallet."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q3[3].checked)
  { alert ("Let's turn this into an adventure, you exclaim! That's the spirit! This is one vacation that tourist will never forget. On a seemingly unrelated note, the tourism industry sees a sharp increase in repeat vacationers this year, leading to a small boom in your local economy."); 
    return; }
 
}

function questionFour (form){
 
  if (form.q4[0].checked)
  { alert ("A rigid demeanor. Especially set in your ways, I sense. You need to loosen up a bit before you can relax."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q4[1].checked)
  { alert ("The drooping, tranquil existence of the willow. A very relaxed looking tree, to be sure. But why are you weeping? To become truly relaxed, you must first face the pain that causes you woe. Give it time, desciple and you will learn that happiness and relaxing are a harmonious pair."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q4[2].checked)
  { alert ("There's a cherry tree in my back yard. It sure doesn't blossom anymore though. Or produce cherries for that matter (I suppose they are related). Mmmmm. Those cherries used to be good - plump, juicy and dark red. Gee, look at me get all nostaligic over your answer. Okay, you win."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q4[3].checked)
  { alert ("Moss isn't a tree. Even relaxed people need to be able to read and understand simple directions."); 
    return; }
 
}

function questionFive (form){
 
  if (form.q5[0].checked)
  { alert ("Predicable. However, there is nothing to say that predicable people cannot be relaxed."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q5[1].checked)
  { alert ("Give me a break. You just made that up off the top of your head to sound important, didn't you. Don't lie. We warned you that we can tell when you're fibbing. Shame on you."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q5[2].checked)
  { alert ("That happened to you as well? Ruined my collection of preserved butterflys I had on the desk at the time. That's okay. I couldn't be happier with my new hobby - collecting shot glasses."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q5[3].checked)
  { alert ("There's two nice, burly gentlemen in white coats who wish you to take a look at a few more ink blots. ??"); 
    return; }
 
}

function questionSix (form){
 
  if (form.q6[0].checked)
  { alert ("Why must you always disagree? I say black, you say white. I say right, you say left. I say tomatoes, and you say tomatoes. That last one doesn't work too well with text does it? The lesson here is that there is no point in disagreeing just for sake of disagreeing. Don't you agree? That's what I thought."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q6[1].checked)
  { alert ("Guinness."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q6[2].checked)
  { alert ("Three things: First of all, this answer makes no sense whatsoever. Second of all, this is a phrase of 7 words, not one word. The third thing is that I'll let the first two go since it's apparent you're the kind of person that upsets easily."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q6[3].checked)
  { alert ("I was thinking of more of a pearl white. Eggshell would clash with the drapes."); 
    return; }
 
}

function questionSeven (form){
 
  if (form.q7[0].checked)
  { alert ("Red like a rose (a red rose that is). Good answer."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q7[1].checked)
  { alert ("For some reason most people choose this colour as their favourite. Perhaps it has to do with the relationship to water and it's sybolic association with life. Hey, I just noticed our website is mostly blue. Coicidence? I think not. Good Answer."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q7[2].checked)
  { alert ("I'm green with envy over your intelligence. Good answer."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q7[3].checked)
  { alert ("Yellow like the radiant sun that shines brilliantly upon the land. Good answer."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q7[4].checked)
  { alert ("This isn't a colour, but who cares? Good answer."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q7[5].checked)
  { alert (" There's no correct answer here. All colours are great. Good answer."); 
    return; }
 
}

function questionEight (form){
 
  if (form.q8[0].checked)
  { alert ("Is it fair to blame others for your own faults? Perhaps you will learn to pay your bills in the future. Or at least carry cash."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q8[1].checked)
  { alert ("A little preparation can go a long way to avoid possible conflict. Well handled."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q8[2].checked)
  { alert ("Excuse me, I appear to have a waiter in my soup."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q8[3].checked)
  { alert ("A noble thought, but a little too much work for my liking."); 
    return; }
 
}
function questionNine (form){
 
  if (form.q9[0].checked)
  { alert ("The question I just asked you, silly. Weren't you paying attention?"); 
    return; }
  if (form.q9[1].checked)
  { alert ("This is the feedback."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q9[2].checked)
  { alert ("Ummmmm.....yeah, OK. That's nice to know. Has nothing to do with the question but why split hairs?"); 
    return; }
  if (form.q9[3].checked)
  { alert ("Really? I would have thought closer to 29.5. Thanks anyways though - I'll check the manual and compare."); 
    return; }
 
}
function questionTen (form){
 
  if (form.q10[0].checked)
  { alert ("You're just going to let them off the hook after they insulted your significant other? That's not relaxed - it's just plain uncaring."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q10[1].checked)
  { alert ("'Diplomacy is often the best policy.' A rule to live by, in many situations."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q10[2].checked)
  { alert ("This may lead to even more violence directed at your party. There are better strategies for dealing with the situation."); 
    return; }
  if (form.q10[3].checked)
  { alert ("'The best kind of diplomacy is cowboy diplomacy'. Finally your violent tendancies are put to constructive use. Excellent choice, my angry apprentice. Hopefully you have learned when slapping (or punching) people in the face is appropriate, and when it is not."); 
    return; }
 
}