"Relaxism is an attitude, a state of mind if you will, not a lifestyle. "
					-Supreme Guru of Relaxism

RELAXISM NEWSLETTER					issue 01 volume 01
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Check out www.relaxism.com 			      December 15, 2000 AD
for weekly updates!					January 1, 0000 Rx 


Fellow Relaxists:

If you don't already know, the official Relaxism(TM) web site is now 
completed and online at www.relaxism.com. To mark the occasion of the
grand public opening, we are officially resetting the Relaxism calendar 
back to the beginning. Please note the above date changes marked in the 
upper right hand column of the newsletter. Note that we are using four 
digits to represent the year to ensure full Y2K compliance. Y10K bugs are 
projected to cause problems with this implementation system, however, we 
have our technicians working around the clock to remedy the situation. 
So Happy Relaxism New Year to All! 

On to the news for this week...

QUOTE OF THE WEEK
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"A 'No' uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a 'Yes' 
 merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble." 
-- Mahatma Ghandi


WE'RE TIRED - AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE
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To celebrate the holiday season, recover from our hard work, and just 
simply give people a chance to discover Relaxism, we're taking a break 
for the next couple of weeks. The next update when we return will be on 
January 5th of the New Year.
            
But don't let that stop you from sending us email - we'll still 
be checking our mail periodically. Feedback on the website, questions 
about RMail, requests for advice from the Guru, and reader submissions
of poems, short stories, or jokes will be accepted and appreciated.
           
Happy Holidays Everyone!


FLORIDA HOLDS SEPARATION REFERENDUM
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In a backlash to the US Supreme Court's latest ruling, the citizens of 
Florida held a statewide referendum last night to separate from 
the rest of the county. The United State's highest court voted 7-2 in 
favour of overturning a Florida Supreme Court ruling that allowed
recounts of disputed votes in the state. Gore supporters, outraged 
over not having their votes counted, pushed hard to get the referendum. 
Surprisingly, many Bush supporters were also in favour of the referendum, 
as one citizen cited:

"It's almost as if the people of Florida aren't considered as important 
as everyone else. That hurts on an emotional level."   

In a closely contested decision, the 'NO' side won by a mere 327 votes, 
preventing Florida from separating and keeping the state in the 
constitution. Shortly after the results, however, protests of voting 
irregularities surfaced. Reports of dazed and confused voters, who 
apparently voted for the wrong choice, were rampant in northern areas 
such as Palm Beach County. 

Poorly designed ballots were attributed to the confusion, which caused
many Florida residents, who were 'YES' supporters, to accidently vote
'Maybe' on the ballot. A schematic of the ballot is seen below:


NO -----------> |_|
                |_| <----------- MAYBE
YES-----------> |_|


Upon realizing their mistake, some voters burst into uncontrollable fits
of rage, whereas others broke down and cried in the parking lot for 
several minutes.

"It's not fair!" one 'YES' supporter complained. "You would expect the
two most important answers, that being yes and no, to take the top two
places on the ballot. Less important choices like maybe should come 
afterwards."

'NO supporters deny that any such irregularities were the cause of the
win.  

"They (the 'YES' side) are just complaining because many people who were 
leaning towards 'YES' couldn't make up their minds," said a 'NO' voter.
"Those individuals voted for 'MAYBE' instead which split the vote in our
favour."

Under Florida State law, an official hand recount is in order due to the
closeness of the votes. The 'NO' campaign is expected to address the 
Supreme Court of Florida in an attempt to stop the recounts. One of the 
judges, who asked to remain anonymous, had this to say about the 
situation:

"Screw them. Learn to f#@$ing vote properly. I'm going on vacation." 

On a side note, Lucien Bouchard of the Bloc Quebecois 
(Quebec separatist party in Canada), was visiting his beachside 
condo at the time and had these comments on the referendum:

"The problem with the Florida referendum wasn't that the ballots were
confusing," Bouchard explained. "The problem was that the referendum 
question was too clear - it scared off many citizens from voting 'YES'. 
They should have used vague words like 'sovereignty' which no one 
understands and is open to interpretation. Make it seem like you're 
gaining independence without really separating and still get to keep
all the perks of being part of the country." 

With a wide grin on his face, Bouchard finished:
"Come to Quebec, and we'll show you how to form a referendum question!"

Hand recounts are expected to begin on Saturday.


Relaxism News Correspondent
Florida, USA.
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