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For those who don't know Saskatchewan is a pretty relaxed place. And for
those of you who don't know where that is, it is a province in Canada,
located between Manitoba to the East, Alberta to the West, the North West
Territories to the North, and the United States of America (Montana and
North Dakota) to the South. And if you don't know where Canada is, check a
map, it's the biggest country in the world, you can't miss it. It's part
of the Prairies, and is one of the largest wheat and grain producers in
the entire world. And what does have to do with pirates you may
ask? Well, nothing much, but here's a song that exemplifies a relaxed
people.
Download The Last Saskatchewan Pirate here in mp3 format.
It's about a farmer who is struggling against poverty and has just
lost all his land. Does he give up on life? No. Does he roll over in defeat? No. Does he shoot
himself? No. He becomes a pirate (note: Relaxism does not condone theft,
but we are just pointing out that this guy was pretty relaxed), and steals
grain. Yes. Grain. Here are the lyrics, I'm sure you'll want to sing
along. You can also get this song from MP3.com. And you should probably check
out some other media from Arrogant Worms - it's quite funny. Here are the lyrics to the
song below:
The Last Saskatchewan Pirate
I used to be a farmer and I made a livin' fine
I had a little stretch of land along the CP line
But times went by and though I tried the money wasn't there
And bankers came and took my land and told me fair is fair
I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no
"Hire you now?" they always laughed, "We just let twenty go!"
The government they promised me a measly little sum
But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum
Then I thought who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone
I'm going to be a pirate on the River Saskatchewan....
Arrrrrgh!
Cause it's a Heave! Ho! Hay! Ho! Comin' down the plains
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains
It's a Ho! Hay! Hi! Hay! Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores
Well you'd think the local farmers would know that I'm at large
But just the other day I found an unprotected barge
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser
I rammed the ship and sank it and I stole their fertilizer
A bridge outside of Moosejaw spans a mighty river
Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are aquiver
'Cause they know that Tractor Jack is hiding in the bay
I'll jump the bridge and knock them cold and sail off with their hay
Cause it's a Heave! Ho! Hay! Ho! Comin' down the plains
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains
It's a Ho! Hay! Hi! Hay! Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores
Well Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat
He'd follow on the shoreline but he didn't own a boat
But cutbacks were a comin' and the mountie lost his job
So now he's sailin' with me and we call him Salty Bob
A swingin' sword, a scull 'n' bones and pleasant company
I never pay my income tax and screw the G.S.T. (screw it!)
Prince Albert down to Saskatoon, the terror of the sea
If you want to reach the Co-op, boy, you gotta get by me!
Cause it's a Heave! Ho! Hay! Ho! Comin' down the plains
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains
It's a Ho! Hay! Hi! Hay! Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores
Well pirate life's appealing but you don't just find it here
I've heard that in Alberta there's a band of buccaneers
They roam the Athabaska from Smith to Fort McKay
You're gonna lose your Stetson if you have to pass their way
Well winter is a comin' and a chill is in the breeze
My pirate days are over when the river starts to freeze
I'll be back in spring time, but now I have to go
I heard there's lots of plunderin' down in New Mexico
Cause it's a Heave! Ho! Hay! Ho! Comin' down the plains
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains
It's a Ho! Hay! Hi! Hay! Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores
- Arrogant Worms
I knew that you would like it. Follow the pirate's example, in a
figurative sense only, we don't actually want people to be plundering the
high seas for grain, and face the odds to defy them. Until next time, be
relaxed.
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