"Relaxism is an attitude, a state of mind if you will, not a lifestyle. "
-Supreme Guru of Relaxism
RELAXISM NEWSLETTER issue 03 volume 01
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Check out www.relaxism.com February 2, 2001 AD
for updates! January 3, 0000 Rx
Fellow Relaxists:
In case you didn't already check it out (which none of you have obviously
since we're telling you about it specifically) there is a special contest
currently on the go at Relaxism. Just click on the "Contest" link at the
top of the Relaxism home page and read our FAQ for more details. No
deadline has been set yet, however, the winner will receive a very cool
prize! All entries can be emailed to:
supremeguru@relaxism.com
with the subject "Contradictory Contest". The contest details can be
found at:
http://www.relaxism.com/FAQ.html#contest
So sent your contest entries in! Read on for more news....
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
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"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want."
(if you didn't find it already - go to the relaxism home page to find
the hidden "reply to the quote of the week"! Hint: It's very near the
Quote of the Week)
RELAXISM.COM WELCOMES P.O.W.E.R. CAMP VANCOUVER TO THE COMMUNITY
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We are very happy to announce a new member to the Relaxism community.
P.O.W.E.R (Partnerships on Women's Educational Realities) Camp
Vancouver is a program geared towards the personal development and
creation of opportunities for women. If you live in the Greater
Vancouver area (British Columbia, Canada), or simply wish to find
out more information, we encourage you to check out:
powercampvancouver.relaxism.com
It's a great program and can use your support. Once again, welcome
P.O.W.E.R. Camp Vancouver!
RELAXISM BREWERY UNDER CONSTRUCTION
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Adjacent to the sacred Relaxism Palace atop Mount Relaxica is the new
site of the Relaxism Brewery. 75 stories high and 10 feet wide, the
original brewery toppled over - killing thousands of innocent
blades of grass. After switching to a more standard architecture and
replacing the ground nearby with artificial turf to avoid any future
disasters, the new brewery is almost ready for its grand opening.
One main line of Relaxism Beer will be offered when the site opens
for business. To spearfront the ad campaign for Relaxism Beer,
the following slogans have been considered:
"Relaxism Beer: At 66 cents a bottle, you'll learn to like it!"
"Warning: This product may cause cancer and kill you."
(Hey - it works for the tobacco companies)
"Relaxism Beer: A lager so hearty you can eat it with a fork."
Other possibilities are still being considered.
Apart from the main line of Relaxism Beer, other products in development
include Desert Lager (brewed with the sweet goodness of cinnamon and brown
sugar) and Relaxism Lite, with the standard "hip" incorrect spelling that
makes all watery, light beers that much more appealing. Construction is
expected to be completed by the end of the fiscal year.
By now I'm sure you have had a good chuckle over this news article
and how silly the whole Relaxism Brewery idea is. What is extremely
disturbing, however, is the slim yet quite real possibility that some
of the things we say are true. Until the next edition of the Relaxism
newsletter...
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